lidah berbelah 2

Since his chinese animal zodiac is snake,
whic makes him more diifficut to trust,
his tongue really like snake,
say and do thing the other way round.

How am i suppose to live with this kind of guy,
arrgghhhh....
help me Lord....
why am i still hang on to the old memory.....

emotional tortured

As what cas said to me the other day,
which turn out to be true,
today when i surf his Facebook,
he erase our relationship status.
How suprise !
More suprise,
when i open his inbox,
he was trying to flirt with other gerl
by telling that gerl he saw that gerl before,
and ask that gerl to go out......

A quiet guy n yet mysterious really suprise me...
He really shows his true color.....

Lord, save me from him.....

mixture of sad +happy

I do happy,
when i get to know the offer
but it seems kak vila seems to be more happier than me,
because,
she can go with me,
2nd,
the offer is so great,
but then,
i told my family about it,
but this funny feeling,
that i had in me,
doesn't make me feel good somehow,
i was crying quietly in my bedroom,
somehow,
that feeling follow me to my work place....
my tears nearly burst out while i was on duty,
but i try to pretend as if nothing happen,
but then,
some of them notice the emo that i had that night,
as the night goes by,
that funny feel subside,
Supposingly,
i feel happy,
but,
so many thing i need to settle before i leave,
can i manage to settle it?
i hope can deal with it....
just can't believe what i dreamed since i was student nurse
became true.........
The long wait is worth it....
sAd,
because i need to sacrifice certain stuff.
happy,
cause what i want can be achieve once i work over there.......

can't believe it....

Owh GOd!
can't believe me and kak vila
been choosen to the most high paid hospital,,
the best part,
me and vila together,
wow!
so yesterday,
we guys have made the biggest decision in our life
to change the pace in our life....
to make the big leaps ever!
the 1st move is,
sign the offer letter,
follow by lots of thing that need to be done in certain period...

Take me out form the dark

my car got problem again yesterday
after work , wanna start the engine,
cannot ...
adui..
lucky,
cas and siva!
is there to hhelp me...
what a day!
myc ar baru ja repair not even 1 month pun
i guess i need to sell it off
ASAP!
as what cas and siva said...
Today,
went to service centre again with siva,
and siva told me rupanya they change recon punya knock sensor...
what the heck!
then, just only they change to original one,
yerrr...
main buyuk tul ohhh......
bikin panas! bayar seribu lebih
ni yang they they did to me!
Shoot!
Thank God lah ada guys yang can help me..
Then drove the car back with full blast of aircond
it turn out my car no problem pun...
yeay!!
hope fully can tahan lah a few more month!

can't wait!

so excited and yet scarry..
me and kak vila going for the presentation in 1 of the famous agency,
to hear our contract like,
main concern,
Hopefully they can wait us till september...
finger cross.....

MC today

Today suppose to be working afternoon duty,
then suddenly,
my left leg paining and feel weak cannot stand properly...
apa lagi,
nearly 12.30pm already kena pergi cepat,
somemore my panel Doctor is going off soon,
Give clinic a call,
ask leslie whether can go now ,
she said can...
Then, took a very quick shower and head to Clinic,
My dear doctor as always very calm,and cool,
as soon as i kena panggil inside his room,
he ask me what's the problem,is it you jog too much or went for marathon
(nak gelak pun ada)
so i tell him all the sign symptom i've been having, just now,,
Then,
he ask me lie down,
and check my leg,
well,
he said i have nerve irritation at my L5,
He asked, Do i stress so much,
well actually ya,,,
i've been buzy yesterday,
and my leg really pain and feel weak,
so scared some time,
it might be something else that initiate the pain...
well, i don't know...
so he asked me to have a good rest today...
and prescribe me 2 type of medication,
1 is for the inflammation and the other 1 is for nerve...
and gave a MC for today...
I don't know lah ...
what happen to me....
Hopefully this will go off...
As for my Doctor and leslie,
Thank you so much for helping me and for being so nice to me..
you guys are GREAT!
THanks again to Dr JK LEE for his expertise, and leslie for her friendly character,
and helpful hand......and a very sweet smile of yours!
All my life,
i never see such a passion and humble doctor and who is so dedicated to his work and staff.....
never ever come across me he scolding other people,
He will never shout but when he is angry his face will shows but will never yell at people...
So much thanks to you all,
i will continue to spread your work and expertise,
MAy God repay what you have done for people...
Thank you Doctor JK Lee and Leslie!!

so many thing happen lately...

and the person i want to is Cassida...
THank You cas for everything...
For listening to my problem,
and encourage me thru my rainy day...
So much more, to say...
and don't know how to say,
only God can repay what you have done to me,
thanks for the help and lending me your ear...
LOL:)))))
Thanks again Gerl!!!!

Luahan hati..

Penat memikirkan si dia,
mengapa dia harus menyakitkan hati saya lagi dan lagi,
apakah saya ini begitu bodoh di matanya,

Tapi berkali-kali itu jugak lah saya memaafkan dia, dan menerima dia...
mengapa saya masih bersama si dia,
sedangkan berkali-kali, tomahan dilontarkan kepada saya,
adakah saya ini hina sangat?
bila terfikir balik,
bergenang air mata sejenak......

Sejauh manakah hubungan ini akan bertahan,
saya tak tahu,
tetapi,
jauh dalam hati kecil ini,
begitu mengharapkan seseorang untuk menyayangi diri ini.....
dan mengharapkan kasih sayang yang akan membahagiakan diri ini...
Diharap kalau awak terbaca luahan hati ini,
Fikirlah sendiri,
mengapa awak sampai hati hendak menyakiti hati seseorang yang awak sayang...
Adakah awak dah bosan dengan hubungan ini....
atau...
ada benda lain di sebalik semua ini...
jika ada...
tolong lah...
jangan sakiti hati ini lagi..
saya tak sanggup lagi menerima segala cemuhan awak.....

stress Up.....

Just came back from off day,
back to work again, biasalah, sure assignment heavy,
which i don't mind,
suddenly, petang ni staffing tak cukup,
and i need to take care 2 patient,
Masuk kerja ja, patient just came back from procedure room,
WAHH!!!!!, bleeding in angio room,
cepat cepat tolak masuk bilik then settle pesakit,
tengok punya tengok,
bukan lah active bleeding pun,
rupanya oozing ja dari nephrostomy site,
(suspend ja!)
Then,
kemas lah pesakit,
tukar all the soil linen,
then,
let patient have good rest,
Legaaaaaaaaa....
dah settle,
boleh tengok my next pesakit pulak..
Lucky,
this patient wasn't that buzy,
so i can do my work peacefully...
Then, dah nak balik kerja pulak,
this patient buat hal lagi,
OMG!!!
i feel so stress right now,
ni tak settle lagi benda lain pulak kena buat...
Whatever it is,
i manage to settle all my work before i go back home...

Lesson behind the story: jadi nurse kena kuat semangat, tabah, pikut penyabar, dan bertindak
mengikut keutamaan.........

and how to deal stress.....
PENAT LAHHHH....

Ignore

For couple of days already,
i didn't pick up or reply his sms,
why?
because he said that i keep on smsing him,
he feel i'm a burden to him,
and he need space to breath,
so, here you go,

i give him ample of time to do so,
still,
i don't feel want to pick up his phone for now,
why?
because for now,
i'm the one who need space for my own..
why?
because so many thing when i think back,
i've been sacrifice most of my time for him,
and yet he did try to squeeze his time for me,
i know,
he try, but,
deep in his heart,
he is a workhaholic person,
he is can work 24/7,
if he got the energy to,
but he can't,
because,
he is a still a normal person,
who need rest......
if let say,
1 day i've been warded to hospital,
will he request leave to take care of me?
I can help you answer this question on behalf of him?
NO!?
NO, because his work is more important than me.....
So,
why should i care for a person who can't even care for me...
i really feel depressed...
The man that i love so much, don't even love me in return...
what a sad story.......

2nd interview

went for another job interview yesterday,
this place were place in northwest of kingdom of saudi... kinda far from riyadh,
well, far is not the problem,
the problem is i'm not keen to go this place,
as i wanted so much to go 1 of the hospital,
and the interview is next month,
hopefully i got it there,
back to my interview,
actually me and 1 of my friend got it,
but since they want staff so urgently,
i guess i have to let it go,
because we guys can only go after august,
due to certain problem,
i hope i succeed for the next interview and hopefully,
they are willing to wait for me till september.......

when will i be a pro....

Been admiring to be a pro photographer long time ago,
because of what?
Because i feel so relax when i see beautiful picture espeacially those,

breathtaking pic, you feel so destressed when you are stress,
So, 1 day i bought a very basic DSLR camera,
at first,
it seems to be a great gadget for me..
after use it,
then i know i cannot go far with the camera i had now...
even after i go for a 2 hour private tutorial from my pro sifu ( which is a lady)
But, i 'm thankful for having NIkon D60 as my first gadget,
It taught me a lot of thing,
took some great picture,
Hopefully 1 day,
i can buy another DSLR ,
and learn more and more about it,
until i can take great picture like others...
*Can't wait to have a 10k salary*
hii..hii.....

interview again

Today,
am going for 2nd interview hopefully tak dapat hahha..bengong tak..
because i'm not keen to go to this place
very ceruk2 punya... macam tak best...
anyway,
i just go for it...
what for if tak nak?!
alah, nak ambik pengalaman lah katakan.. hahha
biasalah,
got nothing to do,
somemore cuti...
just go lah...
;)

back from nite duty

so sleepy... what a night last night.... patient Hb 3.0 .. bledding from the lung... 6 litre blood loss... 9 pint of blood tranfused but nothing seems to keep the Hb go up.... pity that makcik....

But still she can talk to us and move her body slowly.. towards the night she keep on complaining chest pain and thirsty... this is because her Hb is drop... Pity her... she looks so pale... Hopefully she can make it.. ....Cha yo makcik....

house warming 22nd feb 2009

Yeahh..!!

house warming after almost 5 month shift to new house in university apartment in menggatal... today my family is going to invite our family from my father side to the house... sadly, we couldn't invite the relative from my mum side as our house is too small to occupied many people into it... so here they come.. all the relative from daddy side..

The event start around 6pm.. the first 1 to come is my ako hong lee and her 2 kids... follow other after that... my mum didn't cook all the dish.. cause we do pot luck.. so everyone brought 1 of their home cook food... even though it wasn't a porsche dish but i get the chance to eat home cook food after so long staying KL and myself wasn't a good cook compare to my housemate cas... she definitely can cook!!
So, what happen is.. so the later the night gets.. the more of our guest arrive and the room getting smaller and smaller... hahaha.... until we accidently rub our buttock at times...The best part is my grandparent also came...so lucky they still have the clear conscious mind and haven been to the stage of dementia yet they really look fit espeacially my grandpa... some time he play pool table some more.. 'don't play play arr'.......I pity for my grandma as she have to climb up the staircase to 3rd floor... when she arrive at our front door,i can see her face looks so pale... just like those faces that going to get faint but lucky after she catch her breath at the main door, i slowly hold her hand and carry her to have a sit at the sofa.... and i asked her are you ok? ' she slowly reply me say 'ya' . Then i left her there at the sofa... and continue my unfinished task... so back me to kitchen.....and help out cut2 the fruit........

So all the guest have arrive... and we begin with prayers by my aunt nancy.... to bless our food and also the house.... after that.... is makan time....everyone grab their plate and start to scoop food .. wow..... so amazing......so my uncle chris took some photos for that night... all of us posing lah... apa lagi.....



so, among all the food. the 1 i love most is Tuaran mee.




yeah.. tuaran mee.

then, after the main course... we had our premium cheese cake home made by my aunt shirley... sedaapp!!


so after all the makan -makan slowly 1 by 1 departed from our house.... even though the house wasn't enough space for all of us but indeed is so happy to gather around once in a while... it wasn't just a house warming but also a time for us for reunion... because my aunt stacy and her family going to migrate to canada soon......so kinda like last supper with them lah...


the far left is my aunt stacy....

So, it's time to say good bye and good luck to all of you in canada ........gonna miss you all.....



Huhu........T.T

congrates to guat seng and wella liew!!

cOngratulAtions to
Guat Seng and Wella Liew!
on the 18 february 2009
may you 2 will cheerish the love
till forever and ever.......


aNd fast fast get Baby ya!!

back to kk it is and bridesmaid tomorrow!

ToDay,
i'm going back to kk with my sister with airasia flight... wahh... tomorrow going to be wela bridesmaid...terharunya.... the dress i bought that day.. doesn't suit the occasion, not really, cause i never saw people wear that kind of dress as bridesmaid, anyway, i have no choice as i got no time and money to buy a new one...so i have to wear it ....as for the reception dress... i'm going to wear the 1 i bought long time ago and haven't got the chance to wear it... so hopefully everything is going smoothly tomorrow... and to KK here i come....

back to kk

yIPEEE....!!!!

i'm goin back to kk tomorrow... i'm so glad to go back kk this time because my best friend is getting married......and i'm going to be her bridesmaid....
This is my first time.. and i really have no idea what i should do.. the very common one....angkat the wedding gown lah and what i know is most of the time i should be with the bride ... anyway, tomorrow i'm going back to kk and after reach kk me my mum and my sis are goung straight to her house for the dinner...and on 18 feb is her big day! Hopefullly everything goes well....

cOngrAte Wella Liew aNd also to her husband Ong!!!
May you two will have a happy marriage and have abundance of kiddo...;)
and then yAM SEEENNNGGGG!!!!!!!

sorry for being so rude...

i dun know wat happen to me yesterday and i vent my anger to kak vila... it so happen that the person is there... actually , it wasn't a big problem at all.. i guess i'm too emotional... i talked too loud tat i guess she overheard it... and i heard she was crying.. i really do regret wat i said yesterday.. don't know who to talk to.. i only can vent it over here to tell how regret i am....you can say i'm a very sensitive and emotional person.... even sometime i talk so rude and some people may find that i have a 'stinky mouth' as the chinese always said it... but deep down in me... i'm a person who can forgive easily if you start to talk to me first....
i'm a person who is very aggresive sometime... even my sibling always get scolded by me...all the harsh word and pushy thing ..i guess they must be regret to have as their big sis.... well back to my story, i do rasa malu when i saw her... so sad ...i dun know why i become like this.....or maybe there are so many thing i keep inside myself so much that i feel ' a bit' depressed.....
so many thing happen so little people known... for example... my relationship with my boyfren.. not much people know about it... coz both of us come from a difrent religion....neway don't want to brag about it either... coz i scared that my mum will get to know this and at the end she will not agree with us...and thereafter i have to keep it low......

again back to the main story,
well,,,, what i said is already said, i can't take it back.. what i can do is to control myself next time....and don't blame people easily.... i'm a bad person.. deep inside of me... i do want to say sorry to her but....i guess i'm not courage enough to tell her..... and i pray God bless her always..... that's all i can do.. is to ask God forgiveness for what i have said and done....and to kak vila sorry for taking your time to listen all my craps....;(

at Last

At LASt ,

i submit the form to the agency! (name of agency is P& C)
wow..... after all the waits and effort i finally submit kak vila and my form... hope that this can bring us a successful life in future....... so happy! Can't wait for it....

A _ _ _ here i come!!!!!

happy chinese new year everyone!

Gong xi fa cai!!!
ang pow mari2! hahaha.... not into it ody... when just a kid receiving ang pow is the best moment kid ever want it...
this year CNY mcm tak de jer... request leave for CNY... tapi x g mana2 pun but went to fren house jalan2 ... where to?... seremban! kak vila house.. haha... menyempit jer kat uma orang.. memang kurang sopan ...hahhaha.. neway she dun't mind ..... dun't know why i like to go her house lepak... 1 thing is because her famous teh tarik!!u guyz should try it... sedaaaap! kow2 n HOT! ;P
i only lepak 1 night then balik the next day... 1 thing i like there is because to play with her kiddo... so funny seeing this kids grow up.. wish i could have my own kid 1 day...

again GONG XI FA CAI!!!!!!!! YEAR OF OX! MoooooO......;)

so sick of it

mentally torchured... arghhh... what the hell... just dun't like the politic thing in my work place... i'm not backing either side i'm just eing LIBERAL! dengar je lah what ever they want to say... i'm not the gossiper.....

feel islanded

Not sure whether i think too much or is it the war in Gaza affected the muslim people towards those non muslim people which is me... all in a sudden i saw everyone is talking in a very low volume tone whenever i pass by beside them.. and after a while, a bunch of muslim staff gather and talk something and again when i pass by they stop talking and when i goes away they there are continue their topic... what topic... I really have no idea.. really makes me feel so islanded...
what ever it is...
hey... i did not contribute to the war ..come on... be civilize people... i myself feel pity for the kids and the people who suffer from the war as well.....
Please lah... don't treat me like this lah...
Neway, my day suddenly become delighted towards end of the shift... owh!!! Thank God for giving me such a gud fren "che teh" thanks a lot for saying ' i'm not prejudice'
Her words make me feel much better after what i've been thru almost the whole shift... what make she say that word... well, while she was helping me settling the new admisson that i just received. Then as usual we were chatting then suddenly she was talking about 1 of the movie she just watched...she told me the title but could not remember... then i ask her what is it all about? she replied: is about a nigger who went to pub and have a drink then suddenly got this 1 white man was murdered in the pub that he was in, and what happen is, he was caught guilty for murdering the white man. He was caught just because of the diffrent skin color..
So back to me and che teh, so my fren che teh say that" pity the nigger, and i am not prejudice like them" right after she said that she makes me feel at least there is still someone yang still berlaku adil di dunia ini.... i really thanks her...
thank you che teh for making my day see the sun again!!! hahhaa.. congrates to you, you are pregnant now...
May God Bless you my dear!

gathering all the KOh's family and the Teo's Family...30th december 2008

A day to remember today..........all the cousin get together......our speacial guest imported from UK.. our cousin Winson and his niece yasmin... and also the parent... catch up with each other.. thought that we will have the silence moment .. my thought is wrong.. bila start ja bercerita pa lagi macam pasar... still the same old us..just that everyone grew up and start go to work and less see each other... as everyone is so busy with their timetable... to proof that all of us still gila-gila like last time.. these are the picture that i'm going to publish..



far from left, mayryl, the little cute gurl yasmin, simon, me, glynes holding her cousin, and our long distance cousin winson from UK..






all the amoi's...single and available.
far from left, glynes,nicole, niola,noveme, belinda,me, mayryl



wahhh this is just half of the cousin yang attend that night.....there are still yang could not attend due to work and study oversea...and ada lagi ynag tengah busy out there helping out in the kitchen..




YEAH ! singarung time.... me. taking picture so that's why i'm not in it...owh.. miss it..

so this is what we usually do,if all of us meet together...all our mom are so sporting they let us drink beer!!!! thanks to glynes mum..hahhaha.....now i'm in KL.. is back to work time and bye bye sabah and all my relative and family...and WELCOME BACK TO WORK GRACIE!!
BORING but at the same time enjoy working with all the great people around me..

and 1 thing.. i have 8 more month to finish my bond...! yipee!!!!!