so many thing happen lately...

and the person i want to is Cassida...
THank You cas for everything...
For listening to my problem,
and encourage me thru my rainy day...
So much more, to say...
and don't know how to say,
only God can repay what you have done to me,
thanks for the help and lending me your ear...
LOL:)))))
Thanks again Gerl!!!!

Luahan hati..

Penat memikirkan si dia,
mengapa dia harus menyakitkan hati saya lagi dan lagi,
apakah saya ini begitu bodoh di matanya,

Tapi berkali-kali itu jugak lah saya memaafkan dia, dan menerima dia...
mengapa saya masih bersama si dia,
sedangkan berkali-kali, tomahan dilontarkan kepada saya,
adakah saya ini hina sangat?
bila terfikir balik,
bergenang air mata sejenak......

Sejauh manakah hubungan ini akan bertahan,
saya tak tahu,
tetapi,
jauh dalam hati kecil ini,
begitu mengharapkan seseorang untuk menyayangi diri ini.....
dan mengharapkan kasih sayang yang akan membahagiakan diri ini...
Diharap kalau awak terbaca luahan hati ini,
Fikirlah sendiri,
mengapa awak sampai hati hendak menyakiti hati seseorang yang awak sayang...
Adakah awak dah bosan dengan hubungan ini....
atau...
ada benda lain di sebalik semua ini...
jika ada...
tolong lah...
jangan sakiti hati ini lagi..
saya tak sanggup lagi menerima segala cemuhan awak.....

stress Up.....

Just came back from off day,
back to work again, biasalah, sure assignment heavy,
which i don't mind,
suddenly, petang ni staffing tak cukup,
and i need to take care 2 patient,
Masuk kerja ja, patient just came back from procedure room,
WAHH!!!!!, bleeding in angio room,
cepat cepat tolak masuk bilik then settle pesakit,
tengok punya tengok,
bukan lah active bleeding pun,
rupanya oozing ja dari nephrostomy site,
(suspend ja!)
Then,
kemas lah pesakit,
tukar all the soil linen,
then,
let patient have good rest,
Legaaaaaaaaa....
dah settle,
boleh tengok my next pesakit pulak..
Lucky,
this patient wasn't that buzy,
so i can do my work peacefully...
Then, dah nak balik kerja pulak,
this patient buat hal lagi,
OMG!!!
i feel so stress right now,
ni tak settle lagi benda lain pulak kena buat...
Whatever it is,
i manage to settle all my work before i go back home...

Lesson behind the story: jadi nurse kena kuat semangat, tabah, pikut penyabar, dan bertindak
mengikut keutamaan.........

and how to deal stress.....
PENAT LAHHHH....

Ignore

For couple of days already,
i didn't pick up or reply his sms,
why?
because he said that i keep on smsing him,
he feel i'm a burden to him,
and he need space to breath,
so, here you go,

i give him ample of time to do so,
still,
i don't feel want to pick up his phone for now,
why?
because for now,
i'm the one who need space for my own..
why?
because so many thing when i think back,
i've been sacrifice most of my time for him,
and yet he did try to squeeze his time for me,
i know,
he try, but,
deep in his heart,
he is a workhaholic person,
he is can work 24/7,
if he got the energy to,
but he can't,
because,
he is a still a normal person,
who need rest......
if let say,
1 day i've been warded to hospital,
will he request leave to take care of me?
I can help you answer this question on behalf of him?
NO!?
NO, because his work is more important than me.....
So,
why should i care for a person who can't even care for me...
i really feel depressed...
The man that i love so much, don't even love me in return...
what a sad story.......

2nd interview

went for another job interview yesterday,
this place were place in northwest of kingdom of saudi... kinda far from riyadh,
well, far is not the problem,
the problem is i'm not keen to go this place,
as i wanted so much to go 1 of the hospital,
and the interview is next month,
hopefully i got it there,
back to my interview,
actually me and 1 of my friend got it,
but since they want staff so urgently,
i guess i have to let it go,
because we guys can only go after august,
due to certain problem,
i hope i succeed for the next interview and hopefully,
they are willing to wait for me till september.......

when will i be a pro....

Been admiring to be a pro photographer long time ago,
because of what?
Because i feel so relax when i see beautiful picture espeacially those,

breathtaking pic, you feel so destressed when you are stress,
So, 1 day i bought a very basic DSLR camera,
at first,
it seems to be a great gadget for me..
after use it,
then i know i cannot go far with the camera i had now...
even after i go for a 2 hour private tutorial from my pro sifu ( which is a lady)
But, i 'm thankful for having NIkon D60 as my first gadget,
It taught me a lot of thing,
took some great picture,
Hopefully 1 day,
i can buy another DSLR ,
and learn more and more about it,
until i can take great picture like others...
*Can't wait to have a 10k salary*
hii..hii.....

interview again

Today,
am going for 2nd interview hopefully tak dapat hahha..bengong tak..
because i'm not keen to go to this place
very ceruk2 punya... macam tak best...
anyway,
i just go for it...
what for if tak nak?!
alah, nak ambik pengalaman lah katakan.. hahha
biasalah,
got nothing to do,
somemore cuti...
just go lah...
;)

back from nite duty

so sleepy... what a night last night.... patient Hb 3.0 .. bledding from the lung... 6 litre blood loss... 9 pint of blood tranfused but nothing seems to keep the Hb go up.... pity that makcik....

But still she can talk to us and move her body slowly.. towards the night she keep on complaining chest pain and thirsty... this is because her Hb is drop... Pity her... she looks so pale... Hopefully she can make it.. ....Cha yo makcik....